"It's What We Got, We've Got to Learn to Love It."

O.K. you might want to hold on for this one. This particular topic has found me with many different emotions. I know that sounds weird, so here goes. The topic is body image! We all have it, we all have opinions about it and we probably all want a different one! But, my goodness, weve all got to get over it! Our opinions about it, our self-hatred over it, our constant judging and comparing and letting others dictate what we should look like. We need to learn to love the bodies that our parents gave us and respect other peoples bodies for what they were given.

A few months ago, I was watching one of my friends who I share many common interests with and who Ive known as an on again off again member to my health club. I also know that she has always struggled with her weight and has been very frustrated with herself for years over it, and just doesnt like herself. In the world of medical and scientific epidemiological data, shed be considered obese. She knows it; she struggles with it and gets very frustrated by it. Im pretty confident that she would never classify herself as attractive on any level. I found myself thinking one day during an event we were both at, if she could only see, what Im seeing right now! She was incredible and very attractive in so many ways that day, her skin was perfect, shes got calves to die for, she looked fantastic in the clothes and hat she was wearing, her face was lit up by the sunshine and her laugh had us all in stitches. Why doesnt she believe in how beautiful she really is? Why does she allow her body weight to weigh her down in so many other aspects of her life?

I get so upset when I know that many of us, suffer from such poor body image that it honestly affects the way we live and not in a positive way. We think of ourselves as fat, ugly, lazy and defeated because of our dislike for our own bodies, so therefore everything else in our lives gets treated with the same negative attitude. No, just because you are fat, or that you have big thighs, or that you have achne, or that your hair isnt just perfect and that you dont fit into a size 2 jeans doesnt mean that you are fat, ugly, lazy and defeated!

So, to a very recent discussion I had with two good friends, who I would easily classify as very athletic and physically attractive. Theyd just completed an athletic competition the weekend prior to our dining-out together and they were telling me about their rankings at the finish line. They were mortified that one of them was beaten by a person who had big thighs with cellulite. My eyes opened wide and I turned to them both (after I caught my breath) and said, she beat you because she performed the activities needed better than you and who are you to judge that because of the genetics her parents gave her she isnt capable of beating the likes of you two? I was angry that my friends judged her like this. It was nasty and it was mean and there is no wonder why there is a huge problem in this world with body image. Good for her for kicking their butt!

We all know that genetics are one thing that we have no choice over, but we do have a choice over making what we got the best that it can be! You heard me preach it once, youve heard me preach it a million times; you can be fat and fit. You can have huge thighs with cellulite and win athletic races; you can even have a big belly and practice healthy habits! But if you dont have your head in the game and learn to love and accept your own body for what it is, it will be almost impossible to achieve anything in your life.

I am a true believer that if we all got over what society puts forth as the perfect body or the perfect athlete, all of us would be a lot happier and achieve a lot more on a personal level. We know the power of the mind! A happier person, who accepts themselves for who they are and what they got, will be happier in everything they do and that makes my world a better place to live.

 

Deborah Holmes

September 30, 2008